“I can’t STAND this anymore” I exclaimed, shoving myself
away from the computer.
The bisque colored floor tiles had a decided coffee color
where a few drops fell and attracted dirt.
And boot prints, a testament to vaguely wiped boots, trailed across the
floor in some nightmarish imitation of a whodunit - in my very own living room.
The lure of writing can only hold out so long before the
need for clean propels me to set aside my love of words. Even if I stayed, I’d be distracted by the
mess and worse, the guilt of having a less than immaculately kept home.
“How on earth am I supposed to be able to work when I have
to do all this other stuff too?”
*
* * * *
When you first start your new business venture, there is plenty
of advice about the things you need to do to get set up. However the advice didn’t prepare you for adjustments
at home to ease the stress of maintaining a household while going for your
dreams. Those shifts at home are crucial
to your long term success.
When you’re new to the
adventure, you are excited. However,
little stresses start to crop up. If you
don’t expect them, it can be frustrating.
Before you know it, you find yourself overwhelmed.
For example, the typical stay-at-home wife/mom tidies the
house, does laundry, cooks, runs errands, etc … during the day. To maintain that standard now, either you
give up sleep to work while everyone is sleeping (which works at first) or you take
time out of your workday. Both are
invitations to stress.
Work eventually requires more time. You find yourself busier. The floors aren’t cleaned as often. It becomes a struggle to run errands, stop by
to see the elderly person you check on periodically, or get together with a
friend. Having to stop and cook or
clean may feel like an annoyance when you love your business work. You may stop
being effective at all.
Busy executives battle this every day. Without a system in place, it’s easy for things
to slide, unnoticed, until a crisis forms.
They need to delegate, if they can afford to.
These executives are usually working away from home, so
there is a distinct line for them AND their family members. You are at home, and it can be a battle to
get people you live with (and friends) to take your venture seriously. They tend to want you to keep doing stuff “since
you are home.” In other words, cooking,
cleaning, errands, and keeping up with friends while they are away at work or
school. Never mind that this is time stolen
from your business.
Some Potential Stress Points to Consider
Around the house stuff:
1. Taking care of yourself. If you are used to getting up and taking a
shower and getting dressed, when is that going to happen if you get up at 5 and
sneak down to the computer to get some effective work time in before everyone
else gets up? After everyone gets up, it
might be harder to squeeze that time in for yourself.
It’s like being a new mom all over again. By the time you get the opportunity, you are
already in work mode and be tempted to put it off a little longer. Before you know it, you must grab a rushed
shower before that client meeting. Procrastinated tasks add stress because it
requires future time you feel you don’t
have. Worse, it steals mental bandwidth
from what you are doing now.
2. Cooking. Everyone
still needs to eat. If you are used to
homemade everything, you may feel distressed because you don’t have time to do
everything like you used to. What
standard is essential to you?
If the standard is very high and you need
to make fancy 5-course meals, with all of the clean-up that goes with it, it
will be at the cost of working on your business. Only you and your family can determine what
you can live with. You might try crock
pot meals and other minimal prep meals to reduce stress of finding time for
home cooking and it’s clean up.
3. Laundry.
Spending the day doing laundry isn’t fun. Some prefer it because it’s done until next
week, but regret not being available half the weekend. Others prefer doing a load (or two) a day
during the week and taking the weekends off.
A regular plan prevents the stress of staying up late for an emergency
load … or worse, not having clean unmentionables when you need them.
I typically find that dealing with it daily
works better for me so that I’m more available to my family during the
weekend. I should say that it works when
I prep the load the night before so that I don’t procrastinate (or forget) in
the morning because I want to sit and write.
It helps me take a break a couple of times. But you might find that distracting and a bad
idea. Know what works for you and schedule it to
avoid stressful surprises.
4. Cleaning.
The reality is, the impeccable house thing isn’t happening here. I wish it was. I feel stressed because it’s not. What I’m realizing is that I need to pick my
standard, and create a schedule to make it happen – and delegate or let the
rest go. Sometimes it’s more of a pride
issue than a true need issue. I’m still
working on finding that balance. Some
days are better than others!
5. Outside chores.
If you don’t have a groundskeeper, like I don’t, you need to make sure
that the yard is kept up as well. Not
only does time need to be allotted, it needs to be flexible because weather has
a way of changing things. Where will
that time come from?
Business stuff:
1. Getting your systems in place for all of the stuff
you do. Bills. Mail.
Filing. Tidying your work
space. When things aren’t orderly, there’s
stress. Time wasted trying to find
stuff. Running out of space to
work. It takes a while to find a process
that works for you, but it’s time well-invested. Developing routines will ease stress.
2. Budgeting time for learning. To be your best and to stay on top of your
game, there needs to be regular, scheduled time for learning. Whether it’s staying on top of market shifts,
understanding accounting better or honing your craft, there’s always something
to improve.
Personal stuff:
1. Taking care of yourself. Well that sounds silly! However, if you are used to getting up, taking
a shower and getting dressed, when is that going to happen if you start getting
up at 5 and sneak down to the computer to get some effective work time in
before everyone else gets up? After
everyone gets up, it might be harder to squeeze that time in for yourself.
It’s like being a new mom all over again. By the time you get the opportunity, you are
already in work mode and be tempted to put it off a little longer. Before you know it, you must grab a rushed
shower before that client meeting. Procrastinated tasks add stress because it
requires future time you feel you don’t
have. Worse, it steals mental bandwidth
from what you are doing now.
2.
Friends and family are important. So is pursuing your dream. Starting a new business is almost like
getting a new boyfriend. There’s so much
to do and you love what you do. You can’t
wait to do it! It can crowd out time for
friends and family if you aren’t careful.
(Especially if you are a writer.
You just never know when the muse while strike!) Expect some awkwardness
while you find that balance.
3. Mentally shutting off work. Scheduling time isn’t going to mean much if
you are constantly thinking about your business to-do list. It’s tempting to work around the clock, even
if it’s just mental planning. That is
the fastest road to burn-out. And it
strains relationships.
Your husband still needs his wife and
friend. Your kids still need mom – even if
they don’t live at home. When they aren’t
good, you end up distracted with stress from the latest conflict. You need those relationships to be as
functional as possible.
4. Spiritual expressions can get crowded out. If you are used to attending ladies group and
Bible studies, online book clubs, always having some sort of spiritual book
going, and you are used to having more time to read the Bible and sit quietly
and pray for an hour, you will find that time gets squeezed, too. How much time can you budget? This isn’t a suggestion of short-changing
your time with God. Far from it. It’s about picking and choosing the parts
that are needed. Good isn't good at the
cost of added stress.
5. Personal fitness. Yeah, who has time for that? “Mood up! Energy up! Stress down!” is one of fitness expert,
Jonathan Roche’s favorite saying during his workouts.
I used to hate exercise until I started
working out with him on the Bootcamp Hub.
(The name makes it sound hard-core, but it’s not!) He avoids the all or nothing approach, which
helped me stick to an exercise routine for the first time in my adult life. It really transformed me physically and
mentally. My energy level is up. With the motivational speaking he does during
the workout, so I’m really spoiled! I
highly recommend finding active things that you enjoy and do it regularly.
6. Time for you to just “be” and recharge your
batteries. I can’t emphasize it
enough (maybe because I really struggle with this the most.) If you don’t make time to unwind, stress grows. When life throws a curve-ball, you’ve got
nothing left in reserve.
Turning away good
things is hard. However, it’s
the only way to make room for the best things.
That’s a subject for a different post all by itself.
So I have some homework for you, should you choose to accept
it. Take out a sheet of paper – maybe you’ll
need several handy. Write down the
various things that you do. Use the
areas mentioned above. Add in other
chores and social obligations you have.
Write down your business tasks.
Then look at scheduling them into your week or month. What are things that you can delegate? I’ll dive into that topic next week.
If you can sort your minimum standards and schedule your
priorities (not just the business ones), it will go a long way toward reducing
stress. With as many invitations as we
receive for stress, eliminating the unnecessary makes sense, when you know
where to start.
